College Life: Dating

1491344006820Filming the Pinal County Fair was a great experience! I’m almost done with post-production, it’s going by much quicker than I had anticipated, and once done, I’ll be posting it on YouTube under my channel, GEL Studios.

With the time consumed in these projects and school, I’ve recently realized that I haven’t been paying attention to things that I’ve before thought significant. One of which being, yes, boys.

I don’t mean to say that I was obsessed with guys or dating, but it was certainly on my mind. I’d been on a few dates before coming to college, mostly with those I’d known for a long time in my hometown, but coming to EAC and only recognizing the names of a handful of people was a totally different experience. I had to learn to adapt to my surroundings through the compromise of bad experiences. Though I’m not sure if sharing these experiences will help what people think of me, I can assure you that I really don’t mind embarrassing myself.

Mistake #1: “Group dates are unnecessary.”

I think it was the second month of my first semester when I decided to ask someone on a date. I talked to the guy only a few times in passing, but I didn’t think it would be too hard to start up a conversation if we went on a date. He seemed talkative enough. Unfortunately, that idea blew up in my face within the first five minutes of the night; sitting in an already quiet restaurant with only the occasional “How’s your food?” was not what I would consider exciting. My brain just seemed to turn to mush, answering with only a few “mhm’s” and “yeah’s” to his questions. I think at one point I even said “spaghetti” when he asked how my day was… from across the table I swore he asked what I ordered. Since that date, I haven’t heard from him. It’s safe to say that he probably died from my awkwardness.

Thankfully I had much more enjoyable experiences with my past boyfriend. We went on several double-dates that both us and the other couples loved. The motto “the more, the merrier” has never been so real. I think I’ll put it as my new Instagram bio.

#2: “I have enough time to put into a relationship.”

This was probably one of my more constant thoughts. Before college, I hadn’t been in an “official” relationship. I was simply too busy. In college, I felt that almost everyone had a boyfriend, or at least a close-to-one. At first, this annoyed me, but after a few weeks, I decided that I too could be in a relationship. After all, my classes were only a few hours a day, so I could put that extra time into a boyfriend.

I had been on a few dates with a particular gentleman that I found I was really starting to like. He was sweet, courteous, and really the perfect boyfriend material. After our fifth date, we decided that we should be an exclusive couple. For the first month and a half, it was great! I had a blast meeting his family, having dinner together, and meeting up before and after classes.

Unfortunately, while in the relationship, I realized that my work in school was starting to slack. From forgetting to turn in projects between other assignments and flat out never studying, I knew my grades were suffering. I felt a horrible guilt for pushing away my boyfriend in order to try to catch up, and in doing so, I began to realize that, no, I didn’t have time for a relationship. I broke it off rather suddenly, but on a good note.

I haven’t been on another date, but on a happier (not to boast) note, I’m still at a 4.0 GPA. *thumbs up*

#3: “College guys are so much different from high school boys!”

Ha. The cliche of the year! Of course, I can’t speak for every college guy, but I can honestly say that 50% of the people I’ve met while at Eastern and Central Arizona College act just like high school students.

It’s not purposeful, but I think my personality might lead guys to think that I am flirting with them when in all actuality I’m just being friendly. Over the last few weeks, I had three guys trying to message me on Facebook and Instagram, to which I ignored; not because I’m being rude (well, maybe just a little), but on top of the fact that I’m not interested in dating anyone, all three of them have bluntly stated that they “have girlfriends” to my face. I never asked if they had one, so did they say this just to make it seem like they are more attractive than not? I have no idea. Not sure if the tactic worked on other females they’ve talked to, but it definitely didn’t for me.

I feel bad for their girlfriends, whether or not they exist.

Alas, this didn’t only happen in college. Flashback to junior high and high school where I knew several people like this. Girls and guys were equally guilty for this bizarre scheme, and though it didn’t happen to me personally before college, I could count on two hands the amount of times it happened to people I knew.

I wish people could discern the difference between being friendly and flirting. It’s sad, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I will no longer initiate conversations with guys; I don’t want them getting the wrong idea.

Overall, I’m happy to say that I am single and probably will be for a long time. If asked on a date, unless by someone I can honestly say I enjoy talking to, I won’t feel bad saying “no, thank you.” (Sorry, mom. I know you want me to be social and date haha.) Until my schooling is done, or almost done, I have no intention of boyfriend hunting. *shrugs shoulders* I have too much I want to do before settling in a relationship!

-Savannah Griffin

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